Monday, November 8, 2010

The Best 30th Birthday Ever, Part 7: The Final Countdown

My 30th birthday is just one week away, and I can't forget about it for long at all. Every couple hours or so I'm stopped dead in my tracks by the thought, "Oh my God, I'm turning 30 next week." This leads to at least three minutes of paralysis, followed by racing thoughts along the lines of, "How can I accomplish everything I planned for myself in the next seven days?" and "If I'd actually been born on time, I'd already be 30. Hell, biologically I probably am 30. Well, I'm thoroughly screwed already then."

The best part, though, is when other people remind me of my looming milestone. My personal favorite thus far occurred today, when my coworker asked me, "How are the waning days of your 20s?" When I thanked her heartily for depressing me even further, she said, "Think of it this way: you're completing your 30th year!" I paused, then asked, "So you're saying I'm actually starting my 31st year?" Thus concluded our working relationship.

I'm not really depressed about turning 30; I'm more dumbstruck by it. It sounds and feels so momentous, and yet because I'm nowhere near where I thought I would be, I don't quite know how to feel about it. I'm not sad, and I'm not mourning my 20s, but I am a little bit lost, it seems. Rather than being angry or frustrated about that, I'm trying to explore it and just let it be.


Amy in Austin said...

My 30th was by far one of my most memorable years. I'm actually feeling more lost with 35 looming in the near future. Can't wait to celebrate.

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