Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Happy Thanksgiving to Me

I've written before about how grateful I am for what so many people - friends, acquaintances, and even virtual strangers - have done for me over the last year. They supported me in many ways, big and small, and made what could have been an extremely painful and trying time only moderately painful and trying. But I've found that as I move further away from the immediate crisis of separation and divorce and spend increasing amounts of time alone (read: not distracted by the overwhelming support of my friends and loved ones), I am prone to forgetting all the little things I like about my new life. So, this year's Thanksgiving post is a reminder to myself of some of the many good things, big and small, I have to be grateful for.

1. I can wake up early on a Saturday morning, fix my breakfast and cup of tea, and listen to my NPR shows at whatever volume I like, and for as long as I like, all without worrying that I'm making too much noise and might wake someone up. 

2. If a friend drops by unexpectedly, I don't have to worry that any of the occupants of my house might not be wearing pants. Except Juliette, and she's excused.

Her cuteness exempts her from wearing pants. Oh, and the fact that she's a cat, too.
3. I have only myself to blame - and only myself to answer to - for dirty dishes in the sink, laundry piling up in the bedroom, and an unmopped kitchen floor.

4. Despite its discomfort, I have all the solitude I need to explore who I am and who I want to be.

5. When I need snuggles from my Juliette, I don't have to share her with anyone else.

6. I can finally repaint that spare bedroom a normal color and get rid of that hideous Gumball Red (and yes, that's the actual paint name).

The Too Red Room.
7. I no longer have to fly somewhere at both Thanksgiving and Christmas. 

8. On evenings when I don't want to cook, I can decide to have peanut butter and jelly for dinner without an ounce of guilt.

9. I can play the same album loudly and on repeat for hours at a time and no one will complain, or even comment on it.

10. I don't have to feel guilty for resenting my husband anymore.

There are other things about this new life that I'm grateful for as well, but these are the first ones that come to mind. So tomorrow, as I binge on turkey and mashed potatoes and all sorts of other deliciousness, I will also pause to celebrate that I can do it all on my own terms, for better or for worse.


lahn said...

Great post Erin! Happy Thanksgiving to you and the oh-so-adorable Juliette. And, my, that room is RED :)

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