Sunday, December 12, 2010

Little Victories

I am very, very bad at being alone. It makes me uncomfortable. I just feel an intense need to connect with other people, and to immerse myself in those connections and define myself by them, at all times. So I took a big step yesterday: I went to lunch completely alone. I got in my car, drove to a restaurant that I've been dying to try, and sat down at a table all by myself. I ordered a latte and sipped on that for a while. Then I had a salad (mixed greens with pistachios, paper-thin cameo apples, and goat cheese), a pizza (super thin crust with prosciutto, gruyère, fresh oregano, and white truffle oil), and a glass of sauvignon blanc. I didn't rush; instead, I read a book as I ate and took as long as I liked. And I didn't obsessively check my phone, either. I purposely left it in the car so that I couldn't distract myself (this is also why I don't have any photographs of the amazing food I ate). I chatted with the waitress some, but for the most part, I was alone. No one looked at me funny (who's that loner eating all alone?), and I actually quite enjoyed myself. And it didn't once feel awkward or uncomfortable or any of the horrible things I thought it would be. For the first time I can remember, I enjoyed just being with me.


Katherine said...

Those are some big victories in my book. I'm happy you enjoyed spending time with you. You're a wonderful lunch companion.

ilovebabyquilts said...

I am so drooling over the description of that meal! And your time alone. Once you're a mom, you're never alone, even in the bathroom. Relish it!

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