Monday, January 17, 2011

One Big Thing

I've been feeling a little "blah" lately. It took me a while to figure out what it is that's dragging me down. I must have drafted five or six different blog posts before I finally got to this: I'm just bored with my life.

I'm perfectly content to sit at home and watch a movie, or go out to a coffee shop and read a book, or meet up with friends for dinner and some entertainment. But overall, I feel like my life is fairly bland right now. There's no intriguing new love interest, or challenging new project at work, or really anything to get very excited about, or even look forward to.

I know that I shouldn't need something exciting in my life in order to be happy with it, but right now I feel like I do. It doesn't help that a lot of my friends have amazing things going on. Some of them will be having babies soon (twins in one case, even). My good friend from college, Chris, just opened his second wine bar, Pause, in San Francisco this past weekend. And still other friends will be finishing doctoral degrees, and getting married, and completing triathlons, and generally doing impressive and accomplished-sounding things in the coming year. And I.... will not.

I wrote recently about my modest hopes for 2011: to be happier, healthier, and more comfortable being alone. While these are by no means insignificant, they aren't exactly the kind of things one gets excited about or looks forward to. I don't, anyway. I see them more as parts of my daily life, almost routine.

So I've decided that this year, in addition to my modest goals, I'm going to do One Big Thing. I'm not exactly sure yet what my One Big Thing is going to be, but I do know what it won't be: I won't be opening my own business. I definitely won't be having any kids. And anyone who knows me would agree that I'd be setting myself up to fail if I said I was going to complete a triathlon. None of those are my things.

I'm going to spend a little time over the next few weeks thinking about my interests and seeing what I get excited about. I sometimes have a bad habit of getting halfway into a project and then quitting (or calling someone in to finish it for me), so I need to make sure that whatever I choose is something I want or will enjoy enough to see it through. I also want it to be something that I can be proud of, and maybe even grow from. Perhaps a solo trip to some place I've never been? Suggestions are also welcome!


Julie said...

I'm pretty sure I'm in the same boat. Completely different lives, but yet, the same. I'm done having babies, and they've lost that new baby smell. I'm not dating or even a newlywed. And my job blows. I'd like to be happier with my life too.

You have inspired me to find MY One Big Thing. I hope you find yours, and it's wonderful. Like you.


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