Thursday, March 31, 2011

Lesson: Be More Specific

Lately I've been making more of an effort to date, and I've been moderately successful - in that I've had a few dates, not in that I've met anyone I want a relationship with. But that's okay, because the point of dating is to meet a bunch of people and figure out what you really want along the way, so that you can weed out the bad ones and when the right person comes along you can recognize him (or her, depending).

I haven't had any truly bad dates - until tonight. I had high hopes for this guy. He has a PhD, teaches at a local college, and was articulate and funny in our email exchanges. I really thought we'd hit it off when we met tonight. I knew I was going to be disappointed when the conversation only sputtered along, and I found myself having to do all the question asking for the first hour or so. I only drank one beer, planning to extract myself quickly, but when he ordered a second, I felt compelled to stay until he finished it. 

Throughout the awkward hour and thirty minutes of my life I spent with this guy, I kept telling myself to be open-minded, that sometimes it takes a little while for people to come out of their shells. I really tried to keep this in mind, right up until the following exchange. To set the scene for you, he has a 4-year-old daughter who loves everything pink and Disney princesses.

Him: "She's always saying, 'I'm a princess, Daddy!' And I tell her, 'You can't be a princess, because you're American, and America doesn't have royalty.'"
Me: ".... Really? She's only four, right?"
Him: "Yeah, and then she tells me I'm not being very nice to her."
Me: "Huh... You know, some Native American cultures had institutions similar to what we call 'royalty.' So really, you're not quite right about that." 
Him: "Well, I meant 'Americans' as in 'United States of Americans.'"
Me: "Perhaps you should say 'Anglo-Americans' next time. Maybe that will persuade her."

And that was the end of that. Because I may want kids one day, and I'd like them to have a father who will indulge their sweet little children's fantasies, not stomp all over them based on technicalities.

Also, I'd like someone who can hold a conversation. But sometimes that's less of a dealbreaker for me these days.


lahn said...

Oh my. I hope the next one goes much, much better!

Post a Comment