Monday, June 13, 2011

News of the Pathetic

Last week in review...

I've decided to stick with OkCupid for now if for no other reason than its amusement value. My most recent hot find is a guy with this profile:

"I am a professional computer nerd, doing contract work and starting my own business."

So far so good...

"I practice distance unicycling and meditation,"

Uh oh...

"play some flute and guitar,"

Danger, Will Robinson! Danger!  

"sing, know some German and some Portuguese, and was once in Playgirl magazine."

WHAT THE HELL?!?

"I like every kind of food and every kind of music."

Way to bring it home, buddy.

It's been four days and I still can't stop picturing this guy stark naked, riding his unicycle cross-country while playing the flute. It's about as horrifying as you think.

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While traveling for work last week, my coworkers got to discussing the years they graduated from high school. Seeing as how these coworkers are in their mid- to late fifties, I wasn't surprised to hear dates that sounded like 1970 and 1975. Then one of them turns to me and says, "What about you, Erin? When did you graduate? 1988? 1989?" 

And then I wanted to cry.

Graduating in either of those years would make me about 40 or 41. And while I have nothing against people in their early 40s, I'm a full decade away from that and don't particularly like the idea that people might mistake me for being 33% older than I am.

They quickly backpedaled and said that, no, no, they thought I was more like 27 or 28, which was either 1) proof that they can't do math, or 2) their attempt to make me feel better. I'm going with Option #1.

2 comments:

Julie said...

There is absolutely no way anyone with half a brain should mistake you for 40 or 41. I'm not even that old. ;)

The image of a naked unicyclist and his flute. Yes, my mind went there. It always does. So thanks for that!

I Love Baby Quilts! said...

I was actually LOL at the distance unicycling and flute playing. Why was he naked again? He didn't say he's a nudist. So freaking funny.

I graduated in 88 (supposed to be 89) so I resemble that remark on both counts.

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