Tuesday, April 17, 2012

You Can Call Me Al

I got an amazing list of potential roller derby names from you guys. Really, you did me proud. Several of you were strongly in favor of my original idea, Wilhelmina Cutabitch, but you came up with some new serious contenders too. Many of them draw on my love of food, especially desserts and ice cream making, which I found especially impressive. Check out this amazing list:

Banana Split Your Head
Chocolate Ass-mault
Chocolate Chip Cookie Ho
Curly Cupcake
Dirty Bombé
Dirty Dowager
Electric Barbarella
Erin Energizer
Erin the Side of Caution 
Haute Fuck Sundae
Haute Petunia
Hawt Wheels
Ice Queen Cones
Ima Hitjew
Imma Guardin
Jam Tart
Jewcie Calamity
Julia Wilds
Juwanna Scoopapain
Karma Zabitch
Knuckle Cream Sandwich
The Masticator
Maybelline, the Great Lasher
Ms. Freeze
Paula Mean
Peach Clobber
Princess of Wails
Public Frenemy #1
Rainbow Sherhurt
Smooooth Criminal
Shouldacoulda Cutchu
Slammin' Stella
Slapple Pie
Stella Haute Check
Stella Haute Mess
Stella Savage
Stella Shank
Stelladoro Breadbitch
Sweet Revenge
The Storyteller (of Pain)
Terin Uptrack
You Jews You Lose

There were also quite a few of you who expressed support for Erin Go Braughless, despite my explicit instructions that you not do so. Lucky for all of us, that name is already taken on the official roller derby name register.

I'm in love with a bunch of these, but I managed to narrow the list down to six. I cut the list down based on whether I could skate (and answer) to the name without blushing, whether it lent itself to a decent nickname for my teammates to call me by, whether it was already on the registry, and - most importantly - whether it made me laugh. Every single one of these (except Poundcake, which I kept anyway) met those criteria. Without further ado...

Banana Split Your Head
Dirty Bombé
Haute Fuck Sundae
The Masticator
Public Frenemy #1

Right now I'm leaning toward The Masticator, since it has the potential for a great slogan ("She'll chew you up and spit you out") and a good nickname ("Chewy" - I'm a sucker for a Star Wars reference). Plus, it sounds slightly dirty, but also has undertones of vocab nerd, which I love.

So here's what I'm gonna do: when the next roller derby session starts, I'm going to try skating to a few of these names and see how comfortable I am with them. I have a feeling that even though I absolutely love the name Haute Fuck Sundae, for example, I'll feel self-conscious skating under it. The goal is to have a name before my first scrimmage, which (I hope) will be in July. Once I finally settle on a name, I'll let you all know!


Amy in Austin said...

Dirty Bombe!!!!

Vickie said...

I know that this is a late entry, but how about Priscilla, Queen of the Dessert (w/ two s's of course)?

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